“Emily, your boyfriend is a real fucking pain in the ass.”

“Oh my god. That joke is so bad, Jessika! You know though, usually he’s my pain in the ass. I’m just glad you lost the poker game this morning. You get to be his little fuck toy for the whole week while we’re camping.”

“Yeah, well, you came in last place, so, you know, you’re my fuck toy for the week. When your boyfriend is done pounding my ass, you’re going to kiss it until it’s all better.”

“Rock! I’ll fuck your ass, Em, while you kiss Jessika’s ass. Best camping trip ever!” he said.

“What? I thought I was gonna get some time off this week,” Emily asked.

“No way! Since you came in last place, you’re BOTH my fuck toys this week. No way I’m passing up this chance,” he said.