Dear Master Love Hurts,

There’s a guy that I’d really like to convince to fuck me, but I just can’t seem to bring it up with him. Please, help a slut out!

-Desperate For Dick

Dear Desperate,

The solution is pretty simple. Wax and shave your cunt and ass. Invite him over to your place to watch a movie or some TV. When he’s comfortable on the couch, drop your pants and panties, bend over on all fours in front of him, and tell him he can fuck you any way he likes.

Make sure to have some lube nearby, because he will fuck your ass.

-Master Love Hurts