melissamiranti:

masterlovehurts:

“Hi, I’m Brooke. I like getting fucked outside, preferably on the hood of a dirty car that’s been driving down dirt roads. Long fucks on the beach and having my ass destroyed by you while sucking your best friend’s cock are some of my favorite things,” the girl in the video said.

“Man, I just don’t know about this online, video dating stuff. I mean, she’s cute and all, but a little vanilla. I mean, where are all the really kinky sluts out there?” he asked.

“Well, there’s one kinky slut right here. I mean, I just let you piss all over my tits after fucking my ass and-”

“Yeah, but you’re, like, a childhood friend. It doesn’t count,” he said.

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That awful moment when he just doesn’t like you back. Sure, his best friend can be a girl, but all you are to him is a urinal. Gotta find a man who can do all that and whip your tits too!

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